After going through a year of recovery from my late stage hep c trial that lasted 48 weeks plus 24 weeks of placebo prior to “real” drug (Sovaldi and ribavirin), I find myself missing something. Something deep in my core is making me feel empty. I have personally struggled the last 4 months trying to put a finger on that emptiness.
I have no real reason on the outside to feel this way, I am beyond blessed with the most amazing kids, Megan and Garrett. I am surrounded by courageous and truly a family of friends that I hold close to my heart. My businesses that I sold in June have been finalized - no stress on paperwork there and my very precious baby girl Daisy that is my partner in crime now (wiener dog) has become my pillow for tears. (Funny how our furry friends seem to know just when you need them the most.)
All this plus I am CURED of Hep C. What more can a lady ask for? I have lived this nightmare for 10 years going through every hurdle one can jump only to come to the finish line feeling empty.
The next few segments I want to share an up-close and personal journey I have taken in the last 4 months coming to grips with my “new reality.” I share this with my readers not to gain sympathy but hopefully to give you a connection with someone who is struggling within as well. I am not really sure when this “empty” segment in my life actually started but I truly noticed it get worse back in June. The last few months I have put my life under a microscope hoping to find the root of the problem. I will share with you the steps I took and the things I did to “find” Kim again. Not that I am all whole now as I am still a work in progress, but coming to understand that after being cured one can’t help but undergo a change in emotional health, physical health and mental health.
We have fought such a hard battle and one that changed from day to day. Not knowing how we would feel from one day to the next. Sitting on pins and needles waiting for that blood work to come back, to filling out those papers that state your last will and testimony. Let’s face it, the ride we have been on was not fun, not easy and certainly not smooth. Our bodies go through changes with Hep C but our mental selves do as well.
I hope to bring light to those suffering in silence as I did. Feeling alone, still wondering if “this is it?”
I have learned this on my personal journey ~ “Being cleared of Hep C does not end the battle once and for all.” “Recovery takes time, takes patience, takes relearning who you are.” Get to know the dragon-free YOU.
Stay tuned for the next segment of this personal journey.
For today, stay positive, continue to keep focused and know you are NEVER alone, no matter what stage of the disease you are at.
“Not without a FIGHT!~HCV~(c)”
Kimberly Morgan Bossley