Reviewing ones life is never a easy task. We uncover things we rather not see or feel. For myself the whole emptiness feeling was brought on by finally being cured and not having a pure set direction for my life.
Yes I do manage and run my foundation The Bonnie Morgan Foundation for HCV
and I am in contact daily with others suffering from this horrible disease. It does keep me very busy but deep down after being cured I felt some sort of “Let Down” feeling. I could not put my finger on it. I go from doctor visit to doctor visit to now not going for over 6 months. My whole life got turned (by no means am I complaining) and I was not prepared how to handle it.
As I wrote in my previous blogs, I ended up getting a part time job at a local coffee shop just to keep myself from getting bored and having another outlet so to speak. What I didn’t realize was the fact my head and my body are not working together. My mind thinks “oh you are cured Kim,” and my body still feeling the effects of Stage 4 liver disease is saying “Are you kidding me? I can’t do this!”
Many are now being cured from hepatitis C after years, even decades of suffering from this nasty disease. I know they too will be faced with similar feelings of “Now what?” We get that amazing wonderful green ticket to go past go... CURED of HEP C; we want to go live, enjoy life without this black cloud of a disease. Then..... reality sets in. We may be “cured” and our livers no longer under attack from this deadly monster, but what we come to realize is that things may not take off like we hoped.
All this is new in the hep C community. Not many people have been able to reach the point or have even been faced with the option of being cured. We don’t know how long it will take to get our lives back to a comfortable schedule. One of work, play or sleep. This is a great issue to be faced with. After all, we are cured.
As for myself, I will continue to trudge forward and do the best I can in the moment I have. I still can’t say for certain how tomorrow will be so I continue to live in each day and do the best I can.
I look forward to someday being completely free of liver issues and I am sure yet then again I will be have to adjust to that new normal.
“Not without a FIGHT!~HCV~(c)”
Kimberly Morgan Bossley