Weightless, I am. Moving without effort, soaking up it all. For I float mid air because the ground reminds of uncertainty, effortless with motivation, just movements without cause. Soak it in because for a moment I held onto prosperity, and it rests on stable ground just out of reach.
I’m a little hoarse from conversation. Return my reality to anticipation. Patience tested to the max, can’t turn it down. Hope is the volume I speak.
With the intense emotional news that hides in the ringing of my phone, I can’t help but wonder how much less interesting my life would be if I never answered the phone.
Two days ago I received a phone call from my Doc. Typically if I get a call from the doc it’s because something is unusual. This call would not disappoint. I sat hopefully waiting to hear congratulations on a second zero. She informed me my viral load under 400 was undetectable, but there were other tests that require me to come in a month. Unsure what to make of this I waited. I accepted the fact that I would have a real answer in a month, since I’d have to wait until October for the new RX anyhow, it didn’t bother me much. Regardless of my acceptance of the uncertainty this brings about, it still feels like I’ve been emotionally winded.
I was curious if she meant an antibody test, which would surely be positive. Once you’ve had HCV at any time in your life you’ll test positive for the antibodies. It’s like any virus in that sense.
It’s Thursday, today. I had a routine MRI to check the state of my liver, the regenerative nodules, and if I have cancer. I just parked the car, and my phone rings. I answer the phone and put it on speaker. It was my doc again.
Twice in a week, is generally not a good thing.
She gave me the MRI results, and thankfully no cancer! But my regenerative nodules are still doing their thing. Whatever that is. I asked her for some clarification on my blood work.
My under 400 is undetectable, however my under 15 still persisted.
What does this mean? How is that possible? why doesn’t this make sense? What is this new RX?
-It means that the results are inconclusive regarding the success of my treatment, next month’s blood test will determine if I am up for another treatment. The likelihood of me doing a fifth treatment is growing at a distressing rate.
-Re-infection is the cause of most relapses, while I may have been vigilant regarding using only temporary toiletries, it could have easily happened.
-It does make sense, it’s like looking at a group of a hundred people from a mile away, vs. from a hundred feet away. the closer you are the easier they are to see.
-Te new RX is a Gilead’s answer to Olysio: ledipasvir. it’s my understanding that it is to be a once a day pill.
The last few days have also brought back a resurgence of my ascites. My feet and calves swell up stretching the skin, while the rest of me balances out the water retention giving rise to the illusion that I’ve gained about 25 pounds.
So, for now I wait. I’ll walk ever so slowly toward my goal.
It can be solved by walking.