From my last endoscopy I had no banding! yes!

and I’ve learned that my acid reflux is getting worse each time. So I’ve started avoiding foods 2-3 hours before bedtime, and sleeping in a reclined position.

Which was great.. until last night I accidentally snapped my pinky toe.

What a useless toe; my toe caught on a chair, and well... it snapped out of place to a 45 degree angle off my foot. So I just popped it back in, it’s pretty swollen and bruised. But as I see it, if my knee can withstand a car without breaking, my pinky toe can withstand a weak and cowardly chair. Thankfully, I’ve equipped my home with first-aid response kits and cold compresses. R.I.C.E. (Rest Ice Compression Elevation) every hour for 20 minutes or so has brought to wonder one thing about this experience overall. Why is Ice the second word in the R.I.C.E. acronym? It seems like an odd choice, it always forces me to second guess if the I really stands for Ice.

Long story short, I now get to sleep in a weird V shape, while having to get up every 2-3 hours out of pain or having to pee. I can’t help but laugh at my situation. It’s not horrible, it’s just terribly inconvenient and annoying. Which brings me to the point of all of this:


It’s not so bad. While yes, at times I may not be able to walk because my legs have ballooned to look like overfilled sausage casings on the verge of bursting, or the muscles spasm out of control because I messed up my electrolyte balance. Or the increasing joint pain that makes my knees ache...I can walk mostly, I can move on my own power. And though I have times of incompetence, It’s not so bad.

I may forget what’s going on, become confused easily, have strange heartbeat patterns, my eyes will ache easier than they should, and I bruise like a person more than twice my age. My bone’s  are still strong, and while my back may ache from the liver pain, I stand up tall and enjoy what is here, because it’s not so bad.

I could go on ad nauseam, but what I’ve seen is that there is good hidden within troubles. I’ve come to appreciate things that may seem strange to others, even this stupid toe injury. I can’t help but laugh at my own misfortune. Seeing the good, has always helped me find hope in every hardship.

This is part of my mentality, why I refuse to give up, and do every treatment I can. I will do better, and with each step forward I will do best. Because I have not so easily resigned myself to mediocrity in this life. I shall live as best I can, as I can, because best is enough.