I am crossing into a new decade, and I wonder if I will be free of hepatitis C in my 60’s. I am in the post-treatment phase of hepatitis C treatment, the part when everyone asks me if I am cured yet. I won’t know until Thanksgiving, and so I wait.
Sometimes the feeling of impatience weighs heavily in our lives. Waiting for results of medical tests can be like walking around with ankle weights. When we have a concern about a symptom, and we are waiting to hear back from the doctor, it can feel like standing on the edge of a cliff.
Uncertainty makes most of us feel uncomfortable. Yet, there is an irony here, because in the midst of uncertainty, there is still the possibility of good news. For instance, not knowing if we need to have more hepatitis C treatment can actually feel worse than knowing we have to. However, during the period of not knowing, aren’t we still free of the burden of the future? Isn’t it really a time of grace?
I used to think about worst scenarios so I could be prepared for the worst possible news. I try not to do that anymore; I don’t think I need to plan for the worst medical outcome like preparing for an earthquake or hurricane. The best way to get ready for a medical problem is to embrace health today, and for me, that means by staying in peace and out of worry.