Getting Ready to Take the (Treatment) Plunge
Am I going to be one of the treatment takers who experience “irritability” affects? I hope not because I could lose not one but both jobs. Then where would I be?
Is this going to affect my son much? I hope not, he’s a really good kid. I got so lucky he isn’t like the way I was at that age. He is actually a very bright child with so much potential. I guess we all start out that way, until attitudes take over.
Last entry said my life went into a tailspin because I lost my father. I went into drugs and alcohol very, very heavily and almost lost my job with a major manufacturer of airplane parts. My boss was a great guy who saw the promise in me because when I wasn’t hung over, I had a great work ethic and was very good at finding problems no one else could see.
I was so lost... I visited my Fathers grave every weekend, Saturday and Sunday. I would drink at the gravesite and cry. I was so lost. This went on from January ’96 to January ’99. I went one day drunk and stoned. I had a conversation with my father and told him that the only way to save my life was for me to get pregnant.
Fast forward to March ’99. I was feeling quite ill and wrote it off to the usual partying. Went to the doctor and had a check up. He came into the office, shook my hand and said, “congratulations, you’re pregnant”. I quit doing drugs right then and there and for the next nine months, concentrated on bringing a healthy baby into the world. I drank after that but, only a 6 pack a day instead of the hard liquor. No more drugs. Been away from that for 12 years now.
So, did my Dad help save my life? Did he hear me? I think so...
Same doctor, June 2010, liver functions were a little wonky. I tested for HIV for years never dreaming hep C was even a possibility. He told me I had Hep C. Still don’t really know what it means really. He told me I could die if I drank again. Haven’t had a drink since 15 June 2010.
I need to find a way to live longer for my son. I want to see him graduate from high school. He’s going to be 12 on Thanksgiving Day, and I’m soon to be 53. I want to add 20 more years. Then I’ll be happy.