I realize the title is a bit misleading, but it actually is bearing true for me today. I woke up this morning with a very unttling feeling in the pit of my stomach, and I haven’t eaten a lot today because of this queasy feeling. My alarm went off this morning like it always does to remind me to take my morning dose of Ribavirin. But this morning was a little different. I awoke to a unsettling feeling, and waves of nausea. It was the Ribavirin wreaking havoc again on my stomach. The hardest part about this morning was the fact I knew I had to drink water, and eat something small so I wouldn’t become even more sickened from taking Ribavirin on an empty stomach having just woke up. It was literally all I could this morning to eat a granola bar. Every bite was gut wrenching, as waves of nausea hit me. I’d chew small bites, then stop for a couple minutes. Take another small bite, then stop. Finally I got through the whole bar, and my morning dose was down the hatch.
The hard part, just two hours later, I had to eat lunch so I could take my other antiviral medications, two of which require some sort of decent portioned meal to help with proper pill absorption. Knowing what I was up against, I bit the bullet and ended up taking a Zofran tablet to combat my waves of stomach sickness. It helped... some. Even the smell of food makes my stomach turn upside down... Icky feeling indeed.
Lunch today was light, and no pun intended on word play, but a bit hard to swallow. But, knowing I had no choice and I had to literally force myself to eat (which I didn’t feel like doing), I did it anyway. When you’re up against a wall, and you know you have to take something to save your life, at the end of the day it becomes mind over matter, in this case will power over bodily nausea. Is it easy? I wish...
Nothing in life is easy, but surviving and thriving to me is worth fighting for. There is a reason why I’m on liver treatment, there is a season why I am suffering, and a purpose to which I must be refined and endure. I may not understand the scope of the situation now in the present, but one day, I can glimpse back and reflect on this time in my life when I fought dragons, and won! Even tonight as I write this, just an hour after taking my last nightly dose of Ribavirin, I’m still somewhat unsettled in the gut. My face is also a little flush. I may have to take another anti-nausea tablet to help with overnight. I was reading tonight in James 5:16 (NIV), "Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective." Continue to pray for me, and I will do the same in return, and remember, every day / every pill/ every dose.