Karen Hoyt is a blogger who has a story about hepatitis C, cirrhosis, end-stage liver disease, liver cancer, and liver transplantation. This excerpt first appeared on Karen’s I Help C blog.
In the span of about 5 minutes, my mind can move from doing a routine thing, like scratching my elbow, all the way to something totally ridiculous – say….. moving myself into a cardboard box underneath a bridge. I don’t even have to exert any effort. I can shift my mind from a “relaxed non thinking” state to a “weight of the world on my shoulders” state and within seconds. How is it that my thoughts go from peaceful floating, to a crash landing with cirrhosis?
Getting Yanked Around by Your Mind
In Dan Harris’ book, 10% Happier, he refers to the nonstop conversation we have with ourselves as “getting yanked around by our mind”.
I get that. It’s so easy to get pushed around by our thoughts. The mind cuts out on us. Here’s an example: I’ll feel an itch on my skin. My fingernail automatically does it’s thing on my elbow.
Cut to remembering the time I had an allergic reaction to a Hepatitis C Treatment.
Cut to lying in St John’s Medical Center with a varices bleed.
Cut to worrying about my health or dying.
Cut to thinking about the future.
Crash landing with cirrhosis – soon I’m losing everything I own and living in a box.
I’ve never lived inside of anyone else’s mind, but I’m pretty sure you do a version of this too. We’re not alone in our mental skirmishes.
There are a lot of ways to respond to the “fast thinker” or “monkey mind” mode.
Just Do Something
Activity reigns supreme in my ideal world. I’ve never felt too cuddly with the notion that rest is best. Quite the opposite. I innately believe that if we’re busy, busy, constantly busy – something good is bound to happen. The problem with that is, sometimes you’re powerless, can’t do anything, and mentally crash anyway. You’re stuck with a mental mess similar to PTSD.
To read the rest of this blog and find out how Karen deals with crash landings, click here.